People Watching in the Tropical Sun

You can get some good laughs off a hot chick . How about the boob job that isn’t balanced?

Recently I was sitting in a bar in Key West people watching. A great pastime, the sitting in the bar part. I was people watching because I had nothing else to do. There must have been two cruise ships tied up at Mallory Square. My favorite bartender was ignoring my need for another rum in favor of serving sugary frozen drinks to faces I didn’t recognize. Duval street looked more like downtown Tokyo.

Bars always make me happy

Bars always make me happy ©2011 Carlton Grooms

Making a game of people watching can be fun. You try to tell a person’s story based on what they wear, how they act, their accent and language or whatever else strikes you. It’s even more fun when you are with a friend whom you can share your thoughts out loud with. Add some rum and you have a party. You might call me insensitive and judgmental in a non-PC way. Screw you, go read someone else’s blog.

When it comes to a tan, I think you can learn a lot, like where are they from? Northerners, cold weather people who travel south and save me from paying a Florida income tax, are obvious. African Americans, Hispanics and Asians are harder to read. For them, I look for tan lines. White folks are easy. Pasty white or lobster red. I always get the biggest laugh out of the ones that fake and bake before the trip. Or better yet the orange ones who use the tan in a tube. We get the similar dynamic with locals in Key West. Instead of red their wrinkled skin is a dark shade of Jaeger Meister.

Rum Shop Ryan enjoying a cold one

Rum Shop Ryan enjoying a cold one ©2011 Carlton Grooms

It’s also fun to have first impressions shattered. How about the big biker dude who walks in looking all tough behind his Terminator sun glasses. Only to take them off and have a huge Zoro mask of white on his face. He goes from bad ass to ass wipe in an instant. And if his head bandana falls off, I might fall of my barstool in hysterics.

When the smoking hot chick walks in everyone turns to look, but is that really all that fun? Nice to look at yes, but people watching is more about the giggles than the wiggles. You can get some good laughs off a hot chick as well though. How about the boob job that isn’t balanced. Classic. Or even better, the fact that she’s with a dweeb. What’s up with that? Gold digger? Maybe. Sugar daddy? Perhaps. Jealous? Absolutely. The best part is she’s providing you enough entertainment to order another round and avoid the tropical sun. Got things to do today? Forget about it.

Leah & Sonny on the bar in Key West

Leah & Sonny on the bar in Key West ©2010 Carlton Grooms

Often people watching turns into people talking. If the people you are watching are close by and you can’t contain yourself, you are bound to open your mouth and engage in meaningful dialog. I was chugging beers with my

Whiskey Johnny my partner in Crime - Nice Shirt

Whiskey Johnny my partner in Crime - Nice Shirt ©2011 Carlton Grooms

buddy, John in a bar once and this guy was sitting two barstools down from us. We kept looking down at him because he had a hot girlfriend who was spilling out of her dress. He’s bragging to the bartender about the couple grand he just dropped buying her shoes. WTF, right? They are both hammered, drinks in front of them on the bar and a bottle of vodka they are taking hits from under the bar. The bartender knew but didn’t seem to care.

John and I start laughing about them until the point we finally just had to find out what their story was. The next thing you know we are having one pint chugging competitions against each other. Until Zack, he had a tattoo on his forearm with a misspelled ‘Zach’ which he got while drunk, upped the challenge to a three way race to drink a pint through a straw. Of course we agreed. What do you think the outcome was, besides that we were all blitzed after? Who won? I did of course, in just under 7 seconds. I do this stuff for living. Did I mention they needed to catch a flight home and missed it thanks to us?

Moral of the story? People watching can be a great way to kill an afternoon in Key West, Cruz Bay, Waikiki or Bora Bora. The best part comes when you stop watching people and start talking to them. Just remember to take plenty of pictures, you might need them to help you remember what went down.

One Response to “People Watching in the Tropical Sun”

  1. Michelle Spann June 23, 2011 at 4:50 pm #

    Best one yet!!!!!!

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